


Dabtan Sonyeondan

by personalitycult



Category: EXO (Band), GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-03
Updated: 2016-07-03
Packaged: 2018-07-19 18:03:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7372033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/personalitycult/pseuds/personalitycult
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>any armys here xD</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapta 1

once upon time park jimin was lookin at himself in da mirror nd he was like "o jimin u is supa fly" but obvi he say it in korean but since i am master translate it in english now. nyway jeon jungkook walk into da room and he be like "jimi why u look at urself in mirror all da time wtf" nd then jimin say "its becos i am beautiful" jungkook nod bc everibody know tht park jimin is an angel sent from heven. then kim namjoon walk in and he be like "jimbles we need 2 talk abt how much time u spendin lookin in da mirror it is 2 MUCH" manjoon sed nd he dabbed sadly "if u keep doin dis ur out of bangtan sinyeondan 5EVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". jimout start to cry becoz he luv lookin in da mirror,,,,, if he dosnt look in da mirror how will he be able to see tru beauty. junkook get angri becoz he in luv with plank jimin so he drop kickz manjoon into tha ocean where he becom one with the sea ppl and marriez a home-of-sexual mermaid calld jackson wang. ANIWAY jungkrook start to mutate as he transformz into da leader he haz alwaiz wanted 2 b. "wtf did u do jungkock WHAT ??? HAP ???" nd then jimbles start 2 cry again becoz where did kimbles manjoonio go nd when will he return from war. SUDDENLI min suga walk into da room nd be like "wher did jamnoon go" nd then dumkook he be like "he iz GOHN 5EVAAAA!" nd then min suga say "finali i can be my tru form" nd he turn into a sloth bc he luv sleep nd then he fallz asleep nd jiminin cri becoz he lov yoongay but sogu is now a sloth nd u cant b a hooman and luv a sloth becoz thats gross nd if there iz one thing tht jimin is NOT its a fuckin furri. anywai junkook look so fly in his new leader evolution (becoz kpop idols r like pokemons) nd jim realise tht he want to do the secks with jungkook so he say to johnkook "hello i want 2 do the secks with u" nd then kooki iz like "o shit whaddup" nd then he dabs in happiness bc he always wanted 2 do the secks with jimble.


	2. chapta 2

okey dokey so after jimdim and junglekook have da secks *dis is liek 1 moth later btw* evri armys in da werld is liek hell ye bcoz jizzkook is real innit but dey is also sad bc where tf is slamjoon evribodi b like "wher did u com from where did u go wher did u com from namjoonio". so aniway is 1 moth after de **buttsecks** nd disappearance of mamjoon nd it iz a normal day for the new evolutin of Dabtan Sonyeondab with jungkool as da leader evn tho he also da maknae gasp the SCANDAL so they be hangin out in da Bangdab Base becoz dat is where dey do their magix nd they get a call from Hitman Bing nd he be like "u ratz r l8 !!!!!! where u be @ ugliez u need to do appearance on *some show thin idk im not a korea so idk* u hav to be there or B SQUARE" nd then dabtan are scare becoz last time they not appear on time bing pd turnd them into squarez so they know is not a empty thret. ANYWAI dey gets to the show thing nd then *sudden* Kimbles Namjoonio IS BAK AND BADDER THAN EVA and he haz Jickson Wazz with him becoz dey married now nd manhoon is like "wtf bih why u drop kick me into ocean and t aKE OVER DABTAN H OW !! DAR E ! YEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" nd then kookie iz lyke "o shit whadodo" and then jizzems weng is well mad bcoz NOBODI nd i repeet NO B ODI disrespectz HIS MAN so jencksin usez his mermaidy powas to banish joinkook to a FAR AWAI LAND nd then namfoon nd jucksin laugh like *evil laugh* nd then kid taehyong is like "gasp y u do dis u are DESTROYIN DABTAN" nd then he be like "but helo junkson i am BIG FAN i luv ur werk we shud bang out smthime" nd then everibody forget jengakook becoz he banished and jacksun is actually evil and he has put all of dabtan under his evil spell becoz he is well evil nd now janetkoook is stuck in faraway prison land what will hap now to dabtan sinyeondab.


	3. chapta 3

so now iz three moth after Dabtan Sonyeondamn have been put under the evil spell of tha evil Jashson Wang,,,, he even change the name to Wangtan SonyeonJacksonWangIzGhey !!1!!1!!!!!!!!!! the HORROR !! and the now evil dabtan are wreaking HAVOC on the kpop universe (becoz jackson is evil and he want 2 destroy everibodi nd make GOAT7 the most popula kpop groop eva). they hav been steelin other groupz music, sayin nasty things abt armys (lol), nd they even beat up g dragin !1! (g dragin then cri nd went 2 tell hiz daddy t.o.p abt the nasti boiz bullyin him). so now all of da kpop univers H8 WANGTAN nd they had 2 make like 4minit and disband so jacksin is happi becoz he has goten rid of #1 kpop grup on hiz hit list. nd everibodi forget jubkook bc jancksen iz evil and he make them forget. nyway wif bingtan gohn not7 are now almost da #1 grup in all of south kora !! except not rlly bc jackson is stoopid nd he forget that there is like ,,,,,, at least 837482678632785 kpop grups for him to taek down nd he is too lazy 2 do tht so he just go back to da ocean nd cri for da rest of his lyfe. nyway one dai min suga was sleepin nd in a dream he see junglekook nd when he waek up he rememba hiz old fren so he run 2 the rest of bongtan (who were sat in room cryin bc nobodu liek dem) nd he be liek "BOIZ WE FIRGOT HUNKOOK!!!!1!!! HE TRAPPED IN FAR AWAI LAND WE MUST RESCOO HIM" nd then Shamtan were like oh ma gud i remememmemember now we mus t FREEEEE HIIIIIIMMMMMM. so den they googlez "how to rescu ppl from a far awai land" nd then SUDDEN b4 anythin else happen shrek appear,,, "i knoo how ta help ya find yer fren" he saiz in his secksi accent.


	4. chapta 4

oki so rite dabtan r now on their way (uh huh) to saev bumkook nd now they hav the secksi shrek on their side to help dem becoz shrek is well cool innit. nd shrek be liek "im on ma wai to sev jeon jungklekook todaiiiii" nd dem jimbl is like "uH HUH" so dey r walkin 2 save jamkook nd they all be sining excedpt suga bcoz he asleepin but he iz well skilled innit so he can walk wen he be sleep. *SUDDEN* johnson wamg appear nd he iz all like "YOUUUU SHALLLL NOT PAAASSSSSSSSS" nd shrek iz lyke "aye what te furck are ye doin laddie" nd he uzes his supa turbo shrek powas to BLAST jicksoon out da wai nd jahcksion is like "o shit whaddup" nd he lay ded on the floor. but even more *SUDDEN* tha rest of GROOT7 appearz nd they is ANGRI becoz nobodi killz one of dem and getz awai wif it so they all *attack* sherk but becoz sherk is a powaful ogre he defeatz them all nd they all dab sadli as they die. so now dey are all on their way again nd they find the place wher johnkook iz *trap*. it iz garded by tha evil army E-X-BRO so dey seez sheckr and Badtan nd they iz *ready* 2 fite. Suhoe walk up 2 them and be like "What iz ur businez here fam why are u here wot do u want ugli?" nd kimbles manjoonio iz lyke "we is here 2 sav our fren jubkook, we waz wrongli trap by tha evil jiksoon wong" so Suhbro is like "i am sorri nobodi iz allow to escap or leve dis prison he is trap 5eva".  nd crimin start to cry becoz he in luv with janetkook nd he iz *sadness*.  but insied da prison jengakook can sense da sadnis of his babu nd he *hulk smash* his wai out of da prison so he can be reunite wif the lub of hiz lyfe Plank Shimin.


	5. chapta 5

alrighti then famalam so jubkook has jus SMASHY SMASHED hiz way out of prison nd all of exo r like o shit whaddup we cant handl dis becoz jeremykook and sherk are 2 STRONG we cannot taek dis so they summon all of saggyteen and toppdabb becoze theyre like a mob and now dey hav an *ARMY* to defeet dabtan. SUDDEN jobson wong appear with got7 nd they is *angri* and now dere is a HUUUUGE army of angri kpop ppl out to get dabtan oh no. so now we hav 2 sidez glare at each other but nobodi is makin da first moov so they just stand nd growl NA EUREUREONG EUREUREONG EUREUREONG DAE at each otha. nd then some death metal dude appear from a band called Angri Beardy White Men probabli nd he iz lyke *scream into microphone* "I WANNA SEE A MOUNTAIN OF TEETH" nd the kpop ppl r like wtf is dis white boi doin nd the white man is like "DO !! A !! MOTHER !! FUCKING !! WALL !! OF !! DEATH !!" so the kpop ppl are like ok den bih so the evil side with exhoe, rot7, shopdogg, and sausageteen all charge at poor dabtan (nd yoongi is still sleep) but *SUDDEN* tha x files theme song start playin and shrek begins to GROW so suddenli he is GIANT SHREK and he SQUASHES THE EVIL PEOPLE with his ogre feet. and becoz jackson wing has finalli been defeated Dabtan are transported awai from the far away land and are back in south korea and all of the evil thingz tht jackson has dun have been undid so everibodi forget abt dabtan bein evil and also exo nd toppdogg nd seventeen are not squishd so evrithing is oki once again,,,,,, or is it ,,,,,,,


	6. chapta 6

k den fam so itz been lyke,,,, mani moths afta the whole incident happen so dabtan r just chillin nd waitin for hittht bong to tel them wat to do so they iz havin chil tyme. so lyke sooga is sleepin (becoz he alwaiz sleepin) jimtrim is lookin at himself in da mirror, jhouse is screamin, rapnom iz (dis had to be censor bc manjoon is a DURTY BASTERD), nd johnkook nd taphyung are annoyin jim. so they habin fun when *sudden* g dragin pop his head thru the door nd he be like "any armyz here lel" nd yongi is like "ar E U HAVIN A GIGGLE M8" nd dropkickz g gaggin across da watar nd jhobbit is stil screamin. then hitmen bung walk into da room nd he blike "fo fuckles sake nt AGAN SOGGY!!!!" nd man yongli is like "o shit srry" nd then everibody hear cheerz from outside bc FINALLY G DRABBLE HAZ GOHN!!!!!!!! DOES DAT MEN 2NE1 GET ANOTHA COMBACK ?!?!?!??! (probabli not) but thn mr yg has 2 improviz bc no more g dargum so he hav 2 find anotha persin apart frm 2ne1 to focuz on nd tht was h ow BLACKPINK waz created (nt to be confluzzled wiv plinkvolvit). so liek bluckpenk debutted nd all da fanz are like "BOII IM SHOOKI" "O BOIIIIII LUK AT DEZ LADIEZ I AM GHEY" nd all da armiez r ma d bcoz guess who DA BEST GRUP IN DA WURLD IS >?!>?!?>!?!?!@:£$L":K£LKJKLRF it bts nd guess who not gettin attention?!??! brington bruvs. so den in a efort 2 saive their carreeras, da bongton bags decid 2 tri nd bring harambe bak from th dead ON LIEV TV!!! so lyk dey getz on the tv nd da mc dude is lyke "hilo brumtrum biz i hearz tht u is goin to bring bak our lawd nd savir Harambe Da Manbae" nd dey all nodz nd *sudden* jungtruck yellz "DICKS OUT FO HARAMBE" nd nobodi can control themselv so dere is so mani dicks out fo harambe. chidren is cryin, buildinz are fallin, women are faintin becoz it rbouht HARAMBE BAK. nd he appearz on da tv like "BAKHARAMBESTREETS BAK" nd everibodi iz like "WANGTAN SINYEONFAM U DID IT U BROU GHT BACK HARAMBIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" nd then horombe da gorila iz lik "thnk u shamtan, for bringin me bak, i wil now bles u all" so harmbe blesse dem all but *sudden* dey all becom GORRILAZ (da monkley fings not da band) becoz if u be blest by hurumbi u turn into gorila. o h no,....,.,..,.,....,.,..,.,


End file.
